What the fuck do you expect me to do

There has come a time in my life when it seems everyone I care about is against me. Apparently, they are perfect beings who have never caused me harm (sure buddy you keep thinking that see how far that will get you) and now project hate towards me 24/7. They blame me for stuff that I'm not really aware of , never agree with me on anything even though I' pretty sure im right, down play everything I say, never let me come up in my own mind or if I do its met with strong resistance that it actually cancels the whole action, I hear their voices 24/7 saying negative things not letting my own mind flow freely in the universe; im starting to question why ive ever considered them friends in the first place.

Yes it's true, the planet is in turmoil. Yes it;s true, I have the power to save many people with the knowledge I have accumulated. Yes its true, I could have saved a lot of the people who have died in the past by being an awakened individual. But let me let you in on a little piece of information, I am not awakened yet. I AM NOT AWAKENED YET. I AM NOT CAPABLE OF DOING THE THINGS YOU WANT OR WANTED ME TO DO THEREFORE YOU ARE NOT OR SHOULD NOT BE CAPABLE OF FEELING HATE TOWARS ME FOR THESE THINGS. I  am working on a limited 5 sense reality with SOME capability of seeing stuff I need to see, while im ASLEEP. I am not sevan bomar, I am not whoever is awakened. There is a very distinct difference between one who has sight and one who doesnt. Sight is mechanism btw which awakens no matter what in a healthy body so dont give me this shit of OH HE DOESNT HAVE SIGHT. IF I HAD TH EBODY, my sight would awaken but ill get into that later.

All this being said, it brings me to one very important question: What the FUCK do you expect ME to do? I already have the planetary jackass demon baal on my ass, I already have the fucking eater demon on my ass, I already dont have sight because my body is fucked up, WHAT HE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? You guys keep talking to me expecting me just wake up and go and save everyone and yet, Im having to deal with all of this, awakened females dont want to even give me the chance to awakene and fight every fucking impulse of me gaining my sight and feelings back and you expect me to see everything that I have caused and expect me to fix all of it on a moments notice? What are you a fucking retard?

and yes I am very angry. Angry because at the core of my being I have ALWAYS wanted to help everyone out. ALWAYS WANTED TO be the guy who could save those who were destined for a painful death but no one ever took into consideration that I dont even have that capability yet. and then these people have the fucking audacity to kick me while im down and call me names and call me this and that, well I say FUCK YOU. Who the fuck cares if I ate meat and ate stuff, the only thing that got in the way of my awakening was your stupid fucking attitudes and wrong assumptions about what is right and wrong to do when it comes to dealing with the awakened vs the unawakened. THats it. YOU GUYS are the ones who fucked up my eyes EVEN FURTHER. YOU GUYS are the ones who never gave me a proper chance. YOU GUYS are the ones who stopped me from helping ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE DIED PAINFUL DEATHS. SO YOU KNOW WHAT, NO DONT FUCK ME, FUCK YOU.

I repeatedly let you guys know I was ready to have my sight back that I was ready to have no fear using my sight but no it just became a fucking power game like the fucking cancer killing the planet and holding back true development in the mind. AS much as I want to say you know what, just have your power game reality. go ahead and have your seed stealing orgies and all that good stuff, I Still have a fucking sliver of hope that maybe one day ill be able to awaken again and do all the things I wanted to do so no I wont say those things.



Give me a fucking chance, give me some fucking space to have my own mind back but dont you dare say, OH WELL YOU DONT HAVE SIGHT WELL THEN TOO BAD  cause then that means you havent listened to a thing ive said.



Ive WORKED for awakening for 7 years of my life now 7 YEARS. THats a long time for a human being to be alive. NO i havent done monk style exercises in these 7 years but ou know what? they arent necessary. Yes they help but arent necessary. IN these 7 years years ive developed a mental strength and peace of mind that will last me an eternity and its only going to get better so theres no reason in no letting me have my sight. LIfe naturally moves towards awakening, its as simple as that. It is NATURAL to awaken, it isnt some sick power game like most seem to make it out to be. Meaning fear is only introduced externally. Meaning you should always see that someone will have a safe awakening not the other way around. Kundalini doesn;t fuck around when it comes to awakening. It only happens when someone is ready so dont be a fucktard and either force it or stop it from happening, just let it happen naturally.