Getting over hatred

I was looking at myself in a mirror today and I realized man I'm really hurting. Not hurting from being over weight or alone or anything else really but there's one thing that just is hurting me to my roots and that is that my whole life potential was changed so much by girls who have left me for other guys. It didn't occur to me until I saw myself in the mirror today how deep the hurt really is. Its like I'm this big tree now being 24 and I feel like the hurt is corrupting my tree to it's roots. So much hatred anger frustration and sadness from being left behind by these girls I realize must be dealt with before I move on. So I write this post in the hopes that it could help me get over this hurt.

Basically is happened like this. Being a young man, I had been through a lot after high school. If you read my older posts you would know. And in what happened, I learned a lot. These women gathered around me like I was some sort of prodigy. They could sense the knowledge and 2isdom I had from being what I had been through. But it was all just false hope I realize as I was not advanced enough mentally to communicate fully with any of them. Well this false hope turned into pure rage when I found out that I had been completely forgotten by these women. They chose someone else to channel their energy into. I was devastated. Being a virgin, it's hard for me to get over the fact that they did indeed choose someone else. They fed me images of being with me and gave me good feelings, stuff I couldn't understand completely and then like in one day they left me alone to myself. I've cried I've screamed I've expressed my feelings of hate enough already. I feel it's time to just completely let it go and move on with my life. Enough hatred, enough sadness, enough looking at the past and hoping it could have gone different. But the thing is I realize it's not enough to just say it. One has to really dive deep into oneself to remove hatred which corrupts consciousness. And so I try this process for the first time where I just go over everything that happened and accept it one by one. I forgive these women for giving me false hope and for choosing someone else. I know I wasn't the best guy either but I know deep down things could have worked out if I was just smarter about things.
It just hurts you know? Being chosen over someone else. especially after having gone through what I've gone through. I feel like my experiences everything that led to us meeting was just completely made obsolete and that i just wasn't good enough. Before I would say well I'm going to prove it to them and be the best I can be in spite of them but now I just want to let it all go. I want to be the best I can be for myself, not in spite of someone else. So enough with all that is holding me back, I'm going to try and work through it . Work through all the times these girls had sex with other guys knowing I was in need of help. I mean I know other people are in the same position but when the universe puts you two together and gives you feels you should honor them. At least that's what I think. I think that's what hurts me the most, that these women built me up and then left me alone so suddenly to have sex with other guys when I was there asking for their love. Sex is no joke, at least in my eyes. If you share with someone, it means you're special?to them and to be left behind like that just hurts so much.